I was taught to be a nice girl. You know, nice and polite and quiet. It didn’t stick, thank God. I’m connected, but not nice. I genuinely care about the people in my life. I pray for people in checkout lines while I wait. Really. I’ll also tell the people in my life the hard truth, like they need to end that broken relationship. Nice is surface. Connection is deep. Polite isn’t my gig. Caring is. I’ll show up at your house with dinner after you’ve had a baby, tell you all the gruesome facts about postpartum, laugh with you, cry with you, and go out to purchase you some hemorrhoid spray if you need it. Ms. Manners would have me leave a nice note with food at the door. This full postpartum disclosure is definitely not polite by my mother’s standards. I talk about everything, mixed company or not. By the way, what is mixed company nowadays, anyhow? I AM NOT QUIET. Outspoken? Without question. I am usually the loudest person in a room. I’m a preacher for goodness sakes! Stop telling me to be quiet unless someone is sleeping. I could have been that nice girl, maybe, but nice was too small and tidy a cage. I tried occasionally to fit my big personality into that cage, but it never fit. It always burst out. . *** Nancy Pelosi was probably taught to be a nice girl too. Yes, she grew up attending political rallies and learning the importance of social justice. Yet as the youngest of seven and the only daughter, who attended an all girls Catholic school, I’m certain she was exposed to the cult of nice. Ripping up Trump’s state of the union speech on prime time TV was not “nice.” It was not polite. Ironically, it was a very quiet LOUD action. It was angry. Here are some facts (not alternative facts, but real facts):
Trump and Limbaugh rip up humans. Nancy Pelosi ripped up a speech. That’s it. Her anger was contained. She was silent. She did not interrupt the state of the union. Nevertheless, her actions were labeled as childish, bitter, and classless by the same people who have embraced the hateful speech of the man who holds the highest office in the nation. Is this because they are hypocrites? Clearly. But it’s also because as a culture we do not tolerate angry women. Why are we not applauding Nancy Pelosi for keeping her anger in check for as long as she did in this hateful new political landscape? How did she keep from screaming against a bigot who practices cruel, sexism, racism, and nationalism? We should applaud her for appropriately and publicly revealing her anger toward not only a president, but also a senate that has embraced a corrupt president. If she were a man we would have applauded her. Men are allowed to prophesy, angrily. If Nancy Pelosi had a penis, she would have been celebrated as a powerful leader instead of a childish, bitter woman. But Nancy Pelosi isn’t bitter at men, she’s angry at injustice. And she should be. Jesus wants her to be. We just don’t know how to handle anger in those we have deemed inhuman and undeserving: people of color, women, LGBTQ+, immigrants, and others. White men, on the other hand, are allowed to be angry. You need look no further than Brett Kavanaugh’s rage or Lindsey Graham's theatrics during the confirmation hearings. There is also the POTUS who tweetstorms his fury daily. But Nancy Pelosi’s controlled, visible anger at the State of the Union riled the patriarchy because America can’t make room for women’s unabashed anger in our chauvinist culture. America likes nice girls, not powerful, bold women who show up ready to fight. *** Like Nancy, as a deeply connected christian, I cannot ignore the plight of others. Whole groups of people in our country are struggling with basic human rights such as health care, food, shelter, and education, due to the inhumane policies of our current administration. Nice can turn away from their suffering, but Nancy can’t, and I can’t. As a minister confronted daily with the needs of the least of God’s children, during an administration that dismisses and often mocks God’s beloved people, my anger rightfully rises. It rises because I am a disciple of Jesus. May yours rise as well.
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